I find myself closing my eyes and trying to settle back into that feeling I had holding him. Now, it seems so distant and unreal, but then, it felt right, just as if for a moment in time, the cosmos aligned and destiny was fulfilled.
I miss his mesmerizing gaze and the way he ended each yawn with a "goo." I long to smooch the fat part of his neck and to give him my hand to comfort him (he loves to fidget).
As of now, we are back to a wait--a grueling, torturous wondering when someone will do his job and award us pre-approval.
Lord, I cannot pretend to understand
why this wait exists.
He is our son as much as any
we could have borne ourselves.
I place him in your arms
and pray your omnipotent protection.
You have given him to us,
we offer him back to you.
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