Okay, so at what point do I stop seeing his every action as the by-product of the adoption? In so many ways, he has adjusted to this life, but there are times that I sense his pain, one that he can't understand or verbalize, but is, nonetheless, very real.
There are times that I tell myself that IT is over--the transition period between his biological/foster family in Guatemala and the family who has waited for him in the U.S. Could it be over in three months' time? I have spoken with so many adoptive families, and their experiences say otherwise.
But life is good. Really good.
He seems quite comfortable here and with the people around him. He is learning at lightning speed, and he is thriving physically. Since he has been home, he has gained more than five pounds (keep in mind: that's just over 1/4 his body weight), and his gross and fine motor skills are sharpening daily. He is beginning to verbalize and to respond to spoken language.
Still, I want to know when IT is behind us.
When can I see his whimpering as just the normal whine of a baby instead of the mourning of a child whose world has changed? Am I wrong to see it that way now? IT doesn't necessarily affect the way I approach him--I don't encourage such behavior because I feel sorry for him.
Can IT ever be finished or does it linger in the background through every stage of our lives?
Or, could IT really be gone after three months' time?
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2 comments:
Sabrina-
You have articulated these feelings beautifully. This too is something I struggle with, to the point it is often all I think about. I begin to over analyze every move, every cry, every smile, every laugh, every restless nights sleep. Our children have been through a lot in their short time on earth and they will undoubtly go through much, much more. All we can do is encourage them, hug them, and love them unconditionally. Brayden has adjusted beautifully, he has found comfort in his Mommy's loving arms... and that is such a blessing !
God Bless-
Julie
Sabrina,
I understand exactly what you are saying. Tabitha has been with us now 2 months and I too watch every little thing she does and wonder what it would have been like if we'd gotten her at a younger age. Then Tim tells me to stop it and just enjoy her NOW, love her without all of the wondering.
Becky T.
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